Today i kinda qurale with hx again....

I'm always scare to play survival project(online game) coz i'm scare that he'll get angry...Coz i'm always standing on his fire line and so i lyk kinda block his attack for the oppnent...And always almost made us lose... And the game got emotions de marz... So i kept useing the crying emotions,then he ask miie why i cry then i tell him coz i miss 1 fire sprits. But i got two back by killing someone in the game.Then he lyk sound bewi the angry and told miie that he hates ppl who cry 4 nth and make ppl worry one...so i say sorry...my fault...sorry... Then he say it's not my fault, and told miie hw he really feels. And so i wanna tells him hw i really feel inside...Here it gose...

Hong Xian....
I really wanna make u happy and smile all day long...
But i've always fail to do so...
I'm already trying my best to hold my tears back when ever u say things that hurt miie alot...
I'm already trying moii best not to get angry easily as we'll end up quralling if i do...
I felt bewi happy when i'm near u and really magical when i felt ur warmth....
Where ever i am or whatever i do, i really wish that u'll always be by my side....
Holding ur hand and hugging u is the happies moment of my life...
When ever u tok to miie in an gental and caring way, i felt very lucky to hab u...
Ur gental smile had neber fail to brighten up my day....
When ever i had to leave or say gd bye, my heart hurts as i really miss u and don't bare to leave u...
I use to lyk sat and sun daes but now i hate them becoz i can't see u on these daes...
Unable to see or hear ur voice makes miie feels un-coufortable...
Every little things that u gib miie is very valuable to miie...
Every touching word that u say had remains in my heart including the painfull ones...
I'm trying my best to forget the painfull words so that it could become a scar instead or an bleading injurey....
I really wanna know more about u...to understand u...so that i can make u happy....
I dun care what ppl think of u...or what ppl say about u...all i know is i belive in who u are and what i've seen...
I've always belive in what u say and trusted u so much that i told u almost every single thing that happen around miie...unless i'm told to keep it a secret...
When ever ppl say u names, a sharp neddle will always poke my heart and that makes miie angry of that person who say u...
I had always think of u every nite be4 i sleep....
Even though sometime u scold miie lazy or whatever,i'm hurt and felt lyk crying but i control it all...
Even though u mistook miie for something and scold miie, i would always keep quiet and cry in my heart...
I'm really happy for everything that u done...
You would nv know when i cried or did i cried coz i will nv ever cry infront of u coz i dun wan u to get angry or worry....
I really hope u'll "ti liang wo" and atleast try to understand hw i feel, as i had tried to too....
If u had tried ur best already then that's al rite....

This might just be some of it only...Some can only be felt when something happens...

~*~*Pome*~*~
[I] had nv fell so deeply and freely in lubb be4...
[L]ightly and solfly the painfulness will eco...
[O]utwardly my smiling stands....
[V]isously the painfulness hurtz...
[E]ven though they really pain...u're
[C]uring it with ur gental smile....
[H]owever the scars will still remain....
[E]ven if some are cured....
[O]nly some are bleading away....
[N]ow it slowly fade away....
[G]oing deep into my memories....
[H]ow would u know where it really hurt?...
[O]nly when u understands....
[N]ow if u really would belive....
[G]o and screach at rite this place....
[X] is the spot where it really hurt...
[I]n the deep deep middle middle up up lefty lefty....
[A]nd if u really do find it....
[N]ever will it be exsist again....

Slowly, steadyly, u'll understand....